Naxals Blog (Most Humorous)

Blogging for Funn!! Enjoy the jokes,amazing things.. stories and funniest moments....

Monday, July 30, 2007

Clever Scrabble (REVISED) !!!...

This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received in awhile. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)!

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
When you rearrange the letters: FLIT ON CHEERING ANGEL

DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters: SPARKLING DRIVE

BARA THEDA
When you rearrange the letters: ARAB DEATH

PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters: END IS A CAR SPIN

MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters: NICE SILKY WOMAN

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROO M
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE


ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!! DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS

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Woman Golfer - Intelligent woman.. (really??)!

Woman Golfer A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in theworld.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in theworld. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'dlike a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down..
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor.

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An Ex-Wife's Revenge

An Ex-Wife's Revenge
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air Fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad t he smell was, he agreed on a Price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home....
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*including the curtain rods.

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Friday, July 27, 2007

Cricket Joke

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, goPrepare for some standard questions that are asked from them whenCommentators chat with them during the awards ceremony.Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match,for which he was not prepared. He always had a standard response to thefirst question. But this time.....Question : Tony Greig: So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for thesecond time!Answer : Inzamam: Bismillah-e-Rehman-e-Rahim! All credit goes to the boys. Everyonework hard for it, especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he wentin. Also Bob Woolmer keeping close watch on progress and givinginstructions. It's all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will work togetheras a team, put in big effort anddeliver good result all the time.Tony fainted

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Some nice answers written in Exams

These are answers, some students have written in their exams... sure U all will enjoy !!!

* A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
* The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
* When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire .
* Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
* Clouds are high flying fogs.
* I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
* Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.
* Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.
* Thunder is a rich source of loudness .
* "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
* "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
* "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars."
* "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
* "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e,i, o and u."
* "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana ."
* "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa..."
* "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
* "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.

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Understanding Engineers ...

Understanding Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.""Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine.Finally, at the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and said, "This is where your problem is."The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1; Knowing where to put it $49,999. It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

"Normal people .... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

Understanding Engineers - Take Eight

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both.""Both?" they asked.Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

Understanding Engineers - Take Nine

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess; that I'll stay with you for a weekend and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"The engineer said, "Look. I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

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Utlimately hilarious --- Black & white

WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY???

Two weeks ago was my 35th birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway.

I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably a present for me.

Forget "Happy Birthday", She didn't even say "Good Morning".

I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember".

Children came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.

I started to the office I was feeling pretty low.

As I walked into my office my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday."

And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon.

Then, Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know,
it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."

I said,! " That's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go." We went to lunch.

We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place.

We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day.

We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment,

she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go change."

"Sure," I excitedly replied. I start getting excited & i thought today is my lucky day.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes,

she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by..........

my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing "Happy Birthday".


And there I sat... on the couch... with out my cloths on....!!!!!!

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How Communication "Twists" in a company...

Engineer to Team Leader:

"We can't do this proposed project. It will involve a major design change
and no one in our team knows the design of this system. And above that, no
body in our company knows the formulation in which this application has
been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you
ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these type of
projects."

Team Leader to Project Manager :

"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any
staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is
unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take
this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project
of this nature."

Project Manager to General Manager :
This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much
experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are
appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to
do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it."


General Manager to Vice President :

"This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have
worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So
they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this
project, but with caution."

Vice President to CEO :

"This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in
remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the
necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some
people have already given in house training in this area to other staff
members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us
under any circumstances."

CEO to Client :

"This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have
executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me
when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing
this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this
project successfully and well within the given time frame.

END.

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Thursday, July 26, 2007

Confidence ... Trust and Hope

Confidence ... Trust.... and Hope...

CONFIDENCE:
Once all village people
decided to pray for rain. On
the day of prayer all people
gathered and only one boy came
with an umbrella......
that's Confidence...

TRUST:
Trust should be like the
feeling of a one year old baby
when you throw him in the air;
he laughs.....because he knows
you will catch him........
That's Trust............

HOPE:

Every night we go to bed, we
have no assurance to get up
alive in the next morning but
still we have plans for the
coming day..........
that's Hope..........

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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Heart Attack, Cold Drinks after meal, health tips



For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
A serious note about heart attacks - You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.
You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.
A cardiologist says if everyone who reads this message sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life. Read this & Send the link to a friend. It could save a life. So, please be a true friend and send this article to all your friends you care about.

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Thursday, July 12, 2007

Husband and Wife - Hearing problem!

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he
thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach
her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor
told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to
give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears
you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a
response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was
in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see
what happens."
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his
wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his

wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response so,

He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's
for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

;

"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Moral of the story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always think,
could be very much within us..!

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Indian Mother ...brilliant

Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a girl
roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't
help but notice how pretty Kumar's roommate was. She had long been
suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made
her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than
met the eye.



Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates." About a
week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to
dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose
she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her,
jus to be sure."


So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:


I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm
not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact remains
that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.


Love, Kumar


Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that
you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was
sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now
under the pillow...



Love,

Mom.



Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother...........especially if she is Indian !

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

We all believe that we are In the Line of Fire everyday.

We all believe that we are In the Line of Fire everyday.

Vivek Pradhan was not a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the air-conditioned compartment of the Shatabdi express could not cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and still not entitled to air travel. It was not the prestige he sought, he had tried to reason with the admin person, it was the savings in time. As PM, he had so many things to do. He opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use.

"Are you from the software industry sir," the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop.

Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car.

"You people have brought so much advancement to the country sir. Today everything is getting computerized."

"Thanks," smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a look.

He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and stocky like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school. He probably was a railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass.

"You people always amaze me," the man continued, "You sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside."

Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naivety demanded reasoning not anger. "It is not as simple as that my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it." For a moment, he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Lifecycle but restrained himself to a single statement. "It is complex, very complex."

"It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid," came the reply.

This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence came into his so far affable, persuasive tone.

"Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in.Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work. Just because we sit in an air-conditioned office does not mean our brows do not sweat. You exercise the muscle; we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing."

He had the man where he wanted him and it was time to drive home the point.

"Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from any of the hundreds of computerized booking centres across the country. Thousands of transactions accessing a single database, at a time concurrency; data integrity, locking, data security. Do you understand
the complexity in designing and coding such a system?"

The man was stuck with amazement, like a child at a planetarium. This was something big and beyond his imagination. " You design and code such things."

"I used to," Vivek paused for effect, "But now I am the Project Manager,"

"Oh!" sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, "so your life is easy now."

It was like being told the fire was better than the frying pan. The man had to be given a feel of the heat.

"Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work. Design and coding! That is the easier part. Now I do not do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done in time and with the highest quality. To tell you about the pressures, there is the customer at one end always changing his requirements, the user wanting something else and your boss always expecting you to have finished it yesterday."

Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with self-realisation. What he had said, was not merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the truth. "My friend," he concluded triumphantly, "you don't know what it is to be in the line of fire."

The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization. When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.

" I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire," He was staring blankly as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.

"There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom. In the morning when we finally hoisted the tricolour at the top only 4 of us were alive."

"You are a..."

"I am Subedar Sushant from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a land assignment. But tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier. On the dawn of that capture, one of my colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety."
"But my captain refused me permission and went ahead himself. He said that the first pledge he had taken as a Gentleman Cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded."
"His own personal safety came last, always and every time. He was killed as he shielded that soldier into the bunker. Every morning now, as I stand guard I can see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir, I know what it is to be in the line of fire."

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of his reply. Abruptly he switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a word document in the presence of a man for whom valour and duty was a daily part of life; a valour and sense of duty which he had so far attributed only to epical heroes.

The train slowed down as it pulled into the station and Subedar Sushant picked up his bags to alight.

"It was nice meeting you sir! "

Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This hand had climbed mountains, pressed the trigger, and hoisted the tricolour. Suddenly as if by impulse,he stood at attention and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute. It was the least he felt he could do for the country.

PS: The incident he narrates during the capture of Peak 4875 is a true-life incident during the Kargil war. Capt. Batra sacrificed his life while trying to save one of the men he commanded, as victory was within sight. For this and his various other acts of bravery he was awarded the Param Vir Chakra the nation's highest military award.

Live humbly, there are great people around us to learn from!

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Monday, July 9, 2007

Great Sardar!

"Hello friends!! I came across a mail on the following incident which I wish to share with you. It has had a deep impact on my thinking.

In the diwali vacation, Jayant and his couple of friends had gone to Delhi.
They rented a taxi for local sight-seeing. The driver was an old Sardar, and boys being boys, Jayant and his pals began cracking Sardarji jokes, just to insinuate the old man.

But to their surprise, the fellow remained unperturbed.

At the end of the sight-seeing, they paid up the hire-charges. The Sardar returned the change. Moreover, he gave each one of them one rupee extra and said, (in Hindi, of course),
''Son, since morning you have been telling Sardarji jokes. I listened to them all and let me tell you, some of them were in a very bad taste. Still, I don't mind coz I know that you are young blood and are yet to see the world. But I have just one request. Here I am giving you one rupee each. Give it to the first Sardar beggar that you come across in this city."
Jayant continued," That one rupee coin is still with me. I couldn't find a single Sardar begging on the streets of Delhi."
Friends, we all love sardar jokes. But the fact of matter is that Sikhs are one of the most prosperous and diversified communities in the world. The secret behind their universal success, according to me, is their willingness to do any job with utmost dedication. A Sardar will drive a truck or set up a roadside garage or a dhaba, but he will never beg on the streets.

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Wednesday, July 4, 2007

ONE BEDROOM FLAT... & One Extra ...Touching Story

ONE BEDROOM FLAT... & One Extra ...

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineer
and joined a company based in USA , the land of braves and opportunity. When
I arrived in the USA , it was as if a dream had come true. Here at last I
was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this
country for about five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India .

My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only
asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.

I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and
lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents
every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days
of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my
ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually
enjoying shopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone
then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate. In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA , after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA .

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started
feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week
sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing. After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children. Every year I decide to go to India . But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India . The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a
suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA . My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India . My 2 children and I returned to USAafter promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA . I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India . I had just enough money to buy a decent 2-bedroom flat in a well-developed locality. Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after staying in India , had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned
cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.

Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be
performing my last rights, God Bless them. But the question still remains
'was all this worth it?'

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Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Indian men and Women stranded on a deserted island...

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a
beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:

A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman

B. 2 French men and 1 French woman

C. 2 German men and 1 German woman

D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman

E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman

F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman

G. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman





What a Crazy coincidence! One month later, on various parts of the island,

the following was observed:







A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.



B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.



C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they spend time

with the German woman.



D. The two Greek men are happy together, and the Greek woman is cooking &

cleaning for them.



E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at

the Polish woman, and they started swimming.



F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to

sell them the Mexican woman.



G. What happened to the Indians????





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The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the

Indian woman!

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TEARS…

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee,
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes! I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued.
"Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said,
'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,
"I would have been released today!"

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