Laloo Yadav again

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three
of them died.


Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.

He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.

But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to
HELL.

Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.

He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the
three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all
misused public positions, etc.

Then why the differential treatment?

He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation
before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or
pre-conceived notions.

Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an
English test.

PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it correctly.

Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.

It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".

Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.

He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and
thus forced to fail with false intent.

Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another
chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi wou ld
provide an equal platform for all three).

PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily an
passes.

Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.

Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."

Tough one. He fails again.

Laloo is extremely unhappy.


Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in hist ory

Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not
take any more tests.

PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence ?" He replied "1947"
and passed.

Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence
struggle?"

He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or
200,000 or 300,000.

Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.

It's Laloo's turn now.
'

'

'

'

'

'

'

'

'

'

Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who
died in the struggle.

Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.



Moral of the story
IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE
IS NO ESCAPE

The Corn Story

There was a farmer who grew superior quality and award-winning CORN.Each year he entered his CORN in the state fair where it won honour andprizes.Once a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt somethinginteresting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that thefarmer shared his seed corn with his neighbours'."How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbourswhen they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" thereporter asked."Why sir, "said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollenfrom the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If myneighbours grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn,cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I amto grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn."The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. Hiscorn cannot improve unless his neighbour's corn also improves. So it isin the other dimensions! Those who choose to be at harmony must helptheir neighbours and colleagues to be at peace. Those who choose to livewell must help others to live well.Success does not happen in isolation. It is very often a participativeand collective ocess

============================================
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples, thenyou and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and Ihave an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have twoideas

God is missing... Award Winning Joke

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are extremely mischievous.
They are alwaysgetting into trouble and their parents know
all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two
boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a
preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children,
so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

Thepreacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning,
with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the
younger boy down and asked him sternly,

"Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,
sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even
sterner tone, "Where is God?!"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

The preacher raised his voice even more and shook
his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
"Where is God?!"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran
directly home and dove into his closet, slamming
the door behind him.When his older brother
found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We
are in BIG trouble this time.



........scroll down........ ......... ...



("I really LOVED reading next line again and again")


............ ..scroll down........ ......... ..


............ ......... ......... ..


............ ......... ......



............ ........

GOD is missing, and they think we did it!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

Top Rajnikant Facts Published

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
* Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
* Rajnikant counted to infinity - twice.
* When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
* Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
* Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
* Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
* There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
* Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
* Rajnikant can divide by zero.
* Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick.
* When taking the GRE, write "Rajnikant" for every answer. You will score over 1600.
* Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
* Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
* Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rajnikant"
* If you Google search "Rajnikant getting kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
* Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
* Rajnikant doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
* It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
* Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
* Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.

Old but wonderful PJs - Most Humorous

In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, andthe water level of the pond increases. How?.................

Ans: All the other 9 fish are crying!!

====================================================


One day a man is sitting in the jungle under a tree and a ‘sparrow'

sits on his shoulder, and the man dies. Why ?




Ans: Because ‘sparrow' was the name of an elephant.




====================================================


10 Ants are walking on a road. 9 are black. 1 is white. Why ?




Ans: One of them is a widow



====================================================


Srinath gives a Pepsi bottle to Kumble And Kumble gives it to Sehwag.Why ?






Ans: Because Sehwag is the Opener.


====================================================


Hare and Tortoise appear for IIT. Hare gets 95% and Tortoise gets84%.
Tortoise gets into IIT and the Hare does not. How?

Ans: Sports Quota
====================================================

Once an Auto rickshaw driver goes into NO ENTRY.

The Police doesnot catch him. Why?

Ans. Because he was walking.
====================================================


What wud u call a Gal who always pushes her father ....?

Ans: Push pa.

====================================================

What will you call a person who is departing from India?

Ans: Hindustan Lever


====================================================

What is the Center of Gravity?


Ans: its V .............. the center of "gra V ity.

Engineer Vs MBA - Humorous jokes!

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a
competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian......
An MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip,
set up their tent, and fall asleep.
Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend.
"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" The MBA ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Economically there are mass scales of stars in the sky.
So "Economy of Scale " would be the ideal strategy in that market.
Strategically such market would be a volume driven market
Financially it would be a low margin market.
From HR point of view we would require huge manpower
What does it tell you?"

The Engineer is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"Practically"
*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

"Someone has stolen our TENT"

Cellular Service providers in India in your life!!

Life before marriage is AIRTEL " u can express ur self ".



During honeymoon is RELIANCE- " Always get in Touch ".



After Honeymoon is HUTCH " Wherever u go ur wife network follows".



After one year Life is IDEA " ur wife can change ur life ".



After 10 years Life is BSNL " Subscriber is not reachable "?????????

Professor Joke- legal and logical question by student!

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

Intelligent Laloo Yadav....

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one personcould go, and he would never return to Earth.The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wantedto be paid for going."A million dollars", he answered, "because I wish to donate it toM.I.T."The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question. Heasked for two million dollars. "I wish to give a million to my family,he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement ofmedicalresearch."The last applicant was an Indian politician (Laloo Yadav). When askedhow much money he wanted, He whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Threemilliondollars." "Why so much more than the others?" the interviewerasked. The Indian Politician replied, "$1 million is for you, I'll keep$1 million, andwe'll give the American engineer $1 million and send himto Mars."

Who is the BEST - Infosys, Wipro or TCS?

Infosys vs Wipro Vs TCS

One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and onefrom TCS, went out for a walk. "Why don't we prove who is the best amongourselves?" Why not, said the other two.
The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh,works for the best firm". Being a pure logical strategist, the personfrom TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkeystayed still. As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried tomake funny gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put... Now, comes theInfosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, hewhispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing athim.. The other two were astonished.

So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make thismonkey cry!!" So there they went again, applying the same methods asbefore. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sadgestures, and they failed again... Then, the Infosian again whisperedsomething into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting theInfosian's shoulder! The other two just could not believe their eyes!

So the tcs guy said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one,we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run". And he barked at themonkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. TheWipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go.So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. TheMonkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it wasscared to death! The other two surrendered.
They said: "OK, we give up. You're the best among us, and you work forthe Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret,"they begged him. "Well", said the Infosian, "The first time I made itlaugh, I told I work for Infosys. The next time, I told the monkey howmuch I get paid ...so it started crying. And then I told that I was herefor recruitment!!!


Disclaimer: Just for fun. Nothing against the companies mentioned above.