Funny Kids

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had phoned in sick one
day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the
Employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello?"

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy
there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked,
"May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the
earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly aprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the
hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they
searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:

Ostrich and the Man- Very Funny!

One day a man and an ostrich walked into a restaurant. Plesently a waitress asks for their orders. The man says hamburger, fries and a coke. The ostrich says I'll have the same.

Later the waitress says that will be £6.40 sir. The man puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out the exact change.

The next day the same thing and the man orders hamburger, fries and coke.

The ostrich orders the same.

This becomes a routine and then one day when ask what he would have the man Says well this is Friday so I have steak, baked potato and salad. The ostrich said I will have the same.

Later the waitress says that will be £12.42 sir and the man again pulls out the exact change.

After a while the waitress needed to satisfy her curiosity and asked the man how he managed to always have the correct money.

Well said the man a few years ago I was clearing out the attic and discovered an old lamp. I rubbed it clean and a Genie appeared and granted me two wishes. My first wish was that I would always have the right amount of money.

The waitress said that was very sensible as he would never run short of money and that most people would have asked for a million dollars.

Then she asked what's with the ostrich?

Well, said the man, my second wish was for a tall chick with nice long legs and who would agree with everything I say